


You Matter To Me

by ImaginationisKey996



Category: GOT7
Genre: Getting Back Together, Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Romance, don't worry friends, eventually
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-02
Updated: 2016-07-25
Packaged: 2018-07-11 21:03:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7070038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImaginationisKey996/pseuds/ImaginationisKey996
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jaebum and Youngjae broke up and then Youngjae left.  It was quiet.  No tears, no anger but Jaebum can't quite shake the feeling that somewhere along the line he made a mistake.  Now Youngjae is back and not only are they in the same class but they are partnered to write and perform a song together.  Will they be able to work together or will everything fall apart?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

When Youngjae and Jaebum were together it wasn’t loud. It was shocking, honestly, for the people who knew how loud the both of them could be on their own. But when they were together it was quiet, comfortable and warm. Everyone knew about there relationship as well, with Jaebum being the golden boy on campus. Everyone in the school looked up to him for some reason or another, whether it be his leadership skills or his musical talent. either way people were unvested in his life. Youngjae, on the other hand was shy, especially when meeting knew people. He was introverted and liked being with a selected few close friends. He wasn’t much of a partier. I short they balanced each other out. And they were so in love. 

And it follows that, when they broke up, it was just as quiet. There was no screaming or crying. There was no anger because there wasn’t really anyone to be angry at. Sometimes things just don’t work out. Sometimes you just can’t keep fighting anymore. 

The bottom line of it was that Youngjae had left. He had left Jaebum and then he left the city. Off to study music therapy with the promise of an impressive scholarship. Jaebum didn’t blame him for taking it. They weren’t together anymore, and even if they were he would never have asked Youngjae to give up the opportunity. But he would have asked him to stay, to make long distance work. He didn’t have any excuse to ask Youngjae to stay with him. 

_Not mine_. his brain whispered. At that moment he knew that Youngjae’s friends would be at the train station, Exchanging final hugs and tearful goodbyes before Youngjae boarded the train and rode off toward his future leaving everything he knew, leaving his friends, leaving Jaebum, behind. And Jaebum wasn’t standing beside like he had always imagined. 

Sitting up in his dorm room, earbuds jammed into his ears, volume turned up almost all the way, Jaebum couldn’t help but feel like he had made a mistake. That maybe, had he said something when they were together, had he said something when they broke up, had he gone to that train platform and said something, anything, Youngjae might have stayed. 

And here they were, eight months later. The second week of classes in the second semester of the university school year. The three of them, Mark, Jinyoung and himself, were heading over to the music building for the class they had all decided to take together. The professor was one they had all had previously and had loved so they had decided to take his class together as an elective. 

They all bustled into the classroom and took there seats. The professor was at the front of the class talking to some kid, handing him some papers, probably the syllabus, but Jaebum wasn’t paying much attention. Too busy listening to Mark and Jinyoung bicker over some book Jinyoung had recommended. 

They started pulling out there notebooks and pencils when suddenly, Jinyoung grabbed his arm, grip so tight Jaebum thought it might actually bruise him. 

_“Ow!_ Jinyoung what the fu—“

“Shut up! Also, don’t freak out, and don’t turn around, but that kid at the front of the class? I think that’s Youngjae.”

Despite Jinyoung’s warning, Jaebum whipped his head around to the front of the class and sure enough, Youngjae was staring right back at him. They made eye contact for a second before Youngjae looked down at his feet. He seemed to take a deep breath before walking down the aisle, past Jaebum and taking a seat a couple of rows away. Jaebum’s eyes followed him all the way to his seat. It took Mark’s elbow in his ribs to snap his attention away from his ex. No one told him Youngjae was coming back. No one told him Youngjae was going to be in his class. Maybe he should just drop the class then he wouldn’t have to deal with all the feelings he had been repressing for the past eight months. 

“Stop it. What ever your thinking about doing, don’t” Jinyoung whispered to him. 

“What do you mean? I wasn’t thinking about doing anything.” Jaebum said. 

“You knew he was eventually coming back.”

“Yeah but I didn’t think he was gonna be in the same class as us! Last time I checked he was a year behind us. He shouldn’t be able to take this class.”

“Basically your saying you thought it would be easier to avoid him and now you actually have to face what happened and you're not ready.” Jinyoung whispered harshly. “It’s been eight month, Jaebum, you have to deal with the fact that you guys broke up.”

The professor cleared his throat to get there attention. They leaned away from each other, an embarrassed blush flooding Jeabum’s face. 

 “As I was saying, class, your first assignment is going to be a partner assignment.” There was an immediate rush of excited whispering as people tried to sort out their partners. 

“Hold on!” The professor said, voice raised to be heard above the din. “You will not be picking your own partners.” A groan of disappointment rippled through the class room. 

“In order to be as diplomatic as possible I will be drawing names out of a hat. That way you can be sure that there is no prejudice in who gets partnered with whom.”

The professor reached into the hat filled with little paper slips. “Okay. Jaebum, you are going to be partnered with,” He reached in to pull out another slip, “Youngjae.”

Jaebum snapped to attention. Jinyoung and Mark were both staring at him with wide eyes. There was no way this was happening to him. Eight months of reminding himself that Youngjae wasn’t his anymore. Eight month of trying and failing to move on, to let go. And that was when Youngjae wan’t even in the city. How on earth was he supposed to convince himself to move on when Youngjae was sitting right beside him? When he had to look at his adorable face? When he had to hear him laugh for someone else, smile for someone else? How on earth was he gonna get through this?


	2. Chapter 2

“What am I going to do. What the _hell_ am I going to do!

Jaebum nearly shouted as soon as he opened the door to his and Jinyoung’s dorm room. Sitting inside were Jackson, Bambam and Yugyeom playing some sort of first person shooter. Jackson was the only one who looked up when they came in the room. The other two stayed immersed in the game. 

“What’s going on now?” Jackson asked. Jaebum was currently sitting at his desk gently slamming his head into the table top repeatedly. 

“Basically, Youngjae’s back, he’s in our class, Jaebum got partnered with him and the prof won’t let him switch partners. Now he has to write a love song with his ex.”

“Wow dude, that’s super shitty. But doesn’t that mean you can actually talk to him about the break up? I mean, he left barely a week after. It’s not like you guys were really able to work through any of your feelings. Do you even really know why you broke up in the first place?”

Jaebum just slammed his head down a little harder. Mark leaned over to Jackson and whispered, “Jaebum said that he felt like Youngjae didn’t love him anymore and then when he brought it up Youngjae just said that maybe they weren’t supposed to be together at this point in there lives. That everything was too busy and he was finding it hard to manage a relationship and all of his school stuff.”

“How do you know all that?”

“Jinyoung told me. Apparently he was sitting in his room and Jaebum came in and just kinda laid down, face first on the floor for a little while before telling him what happened.”

“What the hell am I going to do?” Jaebum murmured from where his face was currently squished against his desk. Jinyoung patted him on the back. 

“You are going to meet up with him. You are going to write and perform a love song with him and then you are going to let go. I can’t promise you will never see him again since he is our friend as well but I’m sure it’ll get a lot easier to avoid him once this is over.”

Jaebum sighed. Even though this was gonna be difficult he still had to get a good mark on this to keep his GPA. So ex boyfriend or not he was gonna ace this damn project. 

 

The basics of the project where this: Every pair was given a scene written by some of the students in the writing department. Each group had to write and compose a song based on that scene. Then they would have a showcase where each group would perform their song. They had four weeks to complete the project from the day it was assigned. 

Youngjae and Jaebum’s scene was between two characters that been previously wounded by love but were starting a new relationship and the difficulties they have sharing their feelings with one another. The irony of the situation didn’t go unnoticed by either party. 

The next day they had class again. The professor asked the students to sit with their partners and start brainstorming ideas together. 

Jaebum looked around the room, searching for Youngjae. He was up at the front of the class talking to the professor before turning around and locking eyes with Jaebum. Youngjae beckoned for Jaebum to follow him as he made his way out of the class room. He caught up to Youngjae in the hall. 

“What’s up?” He asked, trying his best to feign nonchalance. 

“I just asked the prof if we could go to one of the empty work rooms. I find it easier to focus when its quiet.”

_I know_ Jaebum almost says aloud. He could easily recall the cloudy winter days with the two of them curled up on the couch together. Youngjae, with his knees tucked under him, head buried in some book. Jaebum playing some first person shooter, groans, sometimes accompanied by screeching and ridiculous profanities, every time his little character on the screen was blown to smithereens by some twelve year old half way around the world. Youngjae, closing his book and putting it off to the side before turning to snuggle into Jaebum’s side, littering his neck and shoulder with sweet, little kisses. Jaebum pausing his game to look over at his boyfriend, eyebrows raised in a silent question. 

“I can’t concentrate with you making all that noise.” Youngjae says before pressing a gentle kiss to the corner of Jaebum’s lips. He spends a few moments just staring at Youngjae with his soft pink lips and sharp, angled eyes. He cards a hand through his floppy brown hair before tilting his face upward, with a hand on his cheek, pulling him in for a proper kiss that Youngjae reciprocates with all the gentle intensity of warm embers. The kind that are perfect for roasting marshmallows. 

 

Instead, Jaebum just nods and follows Youngjae to an empty work room. They sit on opposite sides of the table, both pulling out there notebooks and pens, ready to get down to work. 

It takes them a while to get into the swing of things. There is a lot of awkward tension in the room and they are constantly interrupting each other. They can’t seem to find the natural flow of conversation. But eventually, all of that fades away. They worked well together before they were together so it only makes sense that they would work well afterwards as well. Soon enough Youngjae had slid his chair around so he was sitting right next to Jaebum and they had an almost complete outline of how the lyrics were going to look and they had the basic message down. 

It was when Jaebum had suggested a particularly good line for the chorus that Youngjae dropped his hand down on top of Jaebum’s thigh. It was meant to be a comforting gesture, an “I’m proud of you.” It was a habit that had started when they were dating. Gentle, quiet touches of encouragement and fondness. Now, of course, it made Jaebum’s entire body tense up. Youngjae looked up at him, checking to see what was wrong, what had happened, before he realized what he had done and he removed his hand. 

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay. We’ve made quite a bit of progress so maybe we should just pack up?”

“Yeah.”

Jaebum and Youngjae began to slide their things back into there bags before Jaebum remembered.

“Oh, we should exchange numbers.”

“What?” Youngjae looked confused.

“So we can meet up and work on this during the rest of the week.” Jaebum said with an edge of trepidation

“No, I know. I still have your number though. Unless you changed it… or something. But, um, i can give you mine if you don’t have it any more. I just—“

“No, I still have it.” Jaebum said refusing to make eye contact with Youngjae. 

“Okay,” Youngjae said with a hint of a smile, “I have to go now but I’ll let you know when I’m free and we can figure out a time to work on this. See you around!” And with a bright smile and a skip in his step, Youngjae bounced out of the room, looking happier than Jaebum had seen him since he came back.

Jaebum felt a warm bubble of affection burst in his chest, making him feel so warm and giddy. Just how he used to feel when they were together. 

_Fuck_


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter has mentions of alcohol. Drink responsibly, kids! :)

The next day Jaebum didn’t have any classes but Youngjae did so they weren’t going to be able to work together until the day after. Jaebum thought that it was the perfect opportunity to forget about his problems and sleep the whole day away. 

Oh how wrong he was. 

At around eight o’clock in the evening, Jinyoung barged into his room grabbed his arms and pulled him out of his bed and onto the floor. 

“What the fuck?” Jaebum groaned from his new position, making acquaintance with his carpet.

“We have a birthday party to go to. Hurry up and get changed or I will pick your clothes out for you, so help me, god.” Jinyoung barked back already rummaging through Jaebum’s closet. He started pulling out clothes and laying them on Jaebum’s freshly slept in bed. 

“I don’t have a gift.” Jaebum said, standing now, peering over Jinyoung’s shoulder at the clothes on the bed. 

“You don’t need a gift, idiot. You don’t even know the person whose party it is.”

“Then how do you know I’m invited?”

“It’s not that kind of party. And anyways, you're always invited. Everyone on campus literally loves you. I just thought that, in light of recent events, it might be nice for you to get out of the house for a while.”

“Plus it’ll be fun to get plastered on someone else booze.” Mark said, sticking his head through the open doorway with a shit eating grin. He ducked out of the way just before a pair of rolled up socks hit the wall right beside where his head would have been, courtesy of Jinyoung.

“Seriously though, it’ll be nice to get out of the house and have some fun. And there is a party with free booze!”

_Maybe Jinyoung is right,_ Jaebum thought. _Maybe this will be fun._

 

 

 

 

_This is not fun._ That was the first thing Jaebum decided when he walked into the birthday party. Not only was it hugely overcrowded with freshman and seniors alike, it was incredibly warm. The air was thick with sweat, alcohol and pounding music. The house itself wasn’t very big but the hosts were able to cram an insane amount of people inside. Within minutes of stepping inside someone had elbowed Jaebum in the stomach and stepped on his foot twice. He pushed his way through the crowded living room turned dance floor toward what appeared to be the kitchen. Maybe once he got on the same level as the rest of the people here he would start having a good time. 

He turned around to tell Jinyoung and Mark his plan just in time to see them slipping away into the throng of people. 

_Great_

Alone and sober at a party where he knew no one. Perfect. He really needed something to drink.

He bobbed and weaved through the throng of bodies occasionally waving, or nodding in recognition when he couldn’t move his hands, at someone he recognized from a class or people he’d seen around campus.

Finally he made it to the kitchen. There were already plastic cups littering practically every surface available. Jaebum made his way over to the fridge. He pulled the door open to reveal mostly ciders and beer. In the freezer he found some harder liquor and he poured himself a couple shots before grabbing one of the bottles of beer from the fridge.

He stood in the kitchen door way, looking out into the sea of people. He spotted Jinyoung and Mark out on the dance floor. They seemed to be having a great time but Jaebum couldn’t bring himself to brave the undulating mass of people again, even with the warm buzzing of the alcohol that was starting in his head. 

He turned back and spied a staircase that appeared to lead out onto a deck of some sort. 

Perfect, He thought. He climbed up the stairs and slipped outside through the glass patio doors. The cool night air felt like a blessing and Jaebum closed his eyes and tilted his head back, letting it all wash over him. He didn’t even notice that there was another person sitting on the deck, cross-legged on the floor, looking out over the roofs of the surrounding houses. Jaebum opened his eyes when he heard the clink of a bottle being placed on the wooden floor. He looked for the source of the sound before realizing that it was another person sitting on the ground. Not only was it another person but, as fate would have it, it was Youngjae, a nearly empty bottle of soft pink champagne seated by his knees. He had clearly had the same idea as Jinyoung. A bustling party and free booze were a perfect distraction

The rational part of Jaebum’s brain told him to just go back inside and face the throng of people, or hide in the bathroom. Do anything but be here. The less rational side was telling him to stay. So with alcohol fuelled confidence, he put down his beer bottle and stepped further onto the deck. 

Youngjae looked so beautiful in the moonlight. He always had. The slivery light cast harsh shadows on his flawless, velvet skin, giving him a serious edge that he didn’t have in the sunlight. The blacks of the night carved out his sharp jaw line and the bridge of his nose. But despite the cool cast of the light, his eyes still looked warm, sparkling in the starlight. 

“You’re beautiful.”

Youngjae didn’t seem startled. Hell, he didn’t even look up to see who was speaking to him. He didn’t need to. He’d recognize that voice anywhere. He just huffed out a little laugh and took another swig from his bottle. 

“You shouldn’t say things you don’t mean.” He said, eyes still focused out on the shingles of the neighbour’s roof. Even as Jaebum sat down beside him. 

“Why would you think I don’t mean it?”

“I guess I just mean, you should be careful what you say. You don’t understand the impact you have on people.” Jaebum looked at him quizzically. Youngjae laughed softly again. 

“You're the golden boy. Everyone on campus looks up to you. Everyone either wants to be you or be with you.”

“Except you.” Youngjae finally looked over at Jaebum, glaring in a way that was probably supposed to be threatening. It wasn’t.

“Don’t put words in my mouth.” Youngjae shot back before picking up the bottle and draining the last of the champagne. A few droplet slipped out of the corners of his mouth and he flicked his tongue out in an attempt to catch them. Jaebum watched as the stray drops slipped down Youngjae’s neck and into the collar of his shirt. With out thinking he reached out to cup Youngjae cheek, turning him so he was looking at Jaebum before swiping his thumb across Youngjae’s lips, cleaning of the rosy pink droplets. 

“So you want me, but you don’t love me?” Jaebum said, losing himself in Youngjae’s eyes, hand still resting on his cheek. He could feel the warmth radiating from Youngjae, despite the nights chill. Youngjae was looking at him with such intensity, eyes flicking down to Jaebum’s lips, then back up to meet his eyes. His tongue slide out to wet his lips in what was, most probably, a subconscious action, but Jaebum could feel the heat beginning to rise in his cheeks. Youngjae really was beautiful, that much hadn’t changed. 

“I said, don’t put words in my mouth.”

Jaebum barely had any time to comprehend what Youngjae was talking about before Youngjae was leaning in, lips just out of reach, warm exhales mingling with Jaebum’s in the cool night air. He was so close. He closed his eyes. Jaebum could smell the champagne and warm musky cologne Youngjae always used to wear. He could feel Youngjae’s hair brushing against his forehead 

“Jae.” It was barely more than a soft exhale, but the familiar nickname tumbling from Jaebum’s lips was enough and Youngjae was tipping forward. His lips were warm and a little chapped, just how Jaebum remembered them to be but there was something intimately different about the way that they kissed. Where before there had been a warm comfort to there kisses. Slow and sweet. A push and pull. A give and take. This time Youngjae kissed with a passion that could only be described as desperation. He pushed forwards, hand finding purchase in Jaebum’s t-shirt. He pushed forward until he was straddling Jaebum’s lap, knees on either side of his hips, Jaebum’s crossed legs under him. Youngjae’s soft, small hands slid their way up Jaebum’s neck to tangle in his hair, pulling gently so that Jaebum would tip his head back, giving Youngjae unobstructed access to his neck. Jaebum was just trying to keep up. Later he would be amazed by Youngjae’s dexterity, even though it was safe to assume he had drunk an entire bottle of champagne. Jaebum could really feel the alcohol sloshing through his blood, allowing him, just for a moment, to get lost in the feeling of Youngjae’s weight in his lap, teeth and tongue on his neck, hands in his hair. Youngjae’s hands slid down Jaebum’s chest, slipping his fingers under the hem of his t-shirt and Jaebum’s hands had circled around his hips, gently, making sure he didn’t fall over. 

When Youngjae kissed him properly again, he slipped his tongue into Jaebum’s pliable mouth. Youngjae tasted like champagne, tart and sweet, but he still retained the warm spice of chai tea and cinnamon on his tongue that had always warmed Jaebum to the very core. 

It was when Youngjae’s hands started to creep up under his shirt, soft fingers stroking his hip bones and the soft trail of hair leading down from his belly button, did Jaebum stop him. His fingers encircling Youngjae’s thin wrists, effectively putting a stop to their wandering. 

“Youngjae.” He said, quiet but firm. They had both been drinking so, no matter how much Jaebum wanted to sit out here on some strangers deck and make out with his ex boyfriend, he didn’t want Youngjae to hate him in the morning. 

Youngjae closed his eyes and leaned his head down on the junction between Jaebum’s head and should, where he had made some pretty substantial marks that would most definitely bruise. He let out a long shaky breath before nuzzling his face a little closer. He brethed in and out a couple of times, basking in the familiar comfort of Jaebum’s cologne before lifting his head and looking Jaebum in the eyes. 

“I’m sorry.” He said, quietly, voice a little rough and shaky. “Im so sorry.” The corners of his mouth wobbled and his breath hitched like he was trying to hold back tears. He slid off Jaebum’s lap and got unsteadily to his feet. Tears began to fill his eyes, making them glassy in the moonlight. “i shouldn’t have—. I’m so sorry, Jaebum.” Even from where he was sitting on the ground Jaebum could tell that Youngjae was trying hard to keep his tears from spilling out. Jaebum watched Youngjae walk past him, wishing he had something to say, some words of comfort. Anything to make him feel better, to stop him from crying. 

As Youngjae slipped through the patio door, sliding it shut behind him, the familiar refrains of Happy Birthday floated from an open window on the ground floor. Jaebum felt this familiar pull deep betweenness ribs. The same pul he had felt eight months ago when Youngjae had walked out through his front door. He felt like his heart would gladly give up its place in his chest if it meant he could stay by Youngjae’s side for just a moment longer. 

And it fucking _hurt._


	4. Chapter 4

Jaebum woke up the next morning with his head pounding and his mouth tasting like death. He lay in bed trying will away his hangover, the heels of his hands pressed against his eyes as if the pressure would somehow alleviate the drum beats in his head. 

“IM JAEBUM GET THE HELL OUT OF BED OR YOURE GONNA BE LATE FOR CLASS.”

Jaebum was so startled by the voice that he nearly fell out of bed, his heart plummeting into his socks. He scrambled out of bed, checking the time, discovering he had about 20 minutes until he was supposed to be in class. 

He sprinted to the bathroom and leapt into the shower, scrubbing himself down quickly, washing off the left over haze of alcohol and sleep. He stepped out of the shower and got dressed quickly in a t-shirt and jeans and then he rushed into the kitchen. 

He was pulling on his shoes when he heard Mark. 

“Damn, what did you get up to last night?”

“What are you talking about?” Jaebum asked.

Mark looked at his neck pointedly, eyebrows raised. Jaebum reached up to feel his neck and recoiled slightly when the pressure stung a little. 

He walked to the mirror hanging in the hallway and looked at himself. On his neck, close to the junction between his shoulder and his neck, there was a deep purpling bruise surrounded by little red teeth marks. 

_Fuck,_

“You okay, man? Whoever you were with really did a number on you.” Mark said from the doorway. 

Jaebum ran back to his room, pulling off his shirt as he went. He grabbed something with a higher neck and pulled it on over his head. Luckily this one covered the mark. He rushed past Mark grabbing his keys and his notebook from the kitchen. 

“Who were you with anyways? The only other person we saw come down from the deck was— No fucking way.” Jaebum turned to Mark.

“Don’t you dare say a goddamn word about this to anyone, okay? Especially not Jinyoung. I do not want to deal with him pestering me to talk to Youngjae today. We’ll talk about my terrible decision making skills later but now I’m late for class.” He said finger jabbing into Mark’s chest. Mark put his hands up in surrender. 

“I won’t say anything. But don’t think he won’t find out on his own. I’d tell him before somebody else does. And remember he’s just trying to help you guys figure out your shit since your both way to emotionally constipated to do it on your own.”

“I resent that.” Jaebum shot back as he slipped out the door, closing it behind him and running to his class. 

 

 

When Jaebum came home afterwards, he was greeted by Jinyoung and Mark sitting at the kitchen table. Their eyes snapped to him as soon as he entered the room. He took off his shoes and put his keys on the table before heading to the fridge and pulling out the carton of orange juice. 

“So,” Jinyoung said, eyes following Jaebum closely. 

“So?” Jaebum responded.

“Mark said that you had something to tell me about last night.”

“Last night? No,I can’t think of anything that I wanted to tell you.”

Jaebum continued to putter around the kitchen, pouring a glass of juice and putting the carton back in the fridge before turning to face his friends. He took a sip, looking anywhere but Jinyoung and Mark, trying his best to appear innocent.

“Jaebum slept with Youngjae!” Mark blurted out.

“WHAT” Jinyoung screeched, rounding on Jaebum advancing on him with murder in his eyes.

“No. No! We just kissed. That’s it, I swear! It was just a kiss!” Jaebum said, hands up, trying to put some distance between himself and Jinyoung who was still coming towards him. 

“Just a kiss? Then what’s with that, honestly, pretty impressive, hickey on your neck?” Mark said from the safety of his chair at the kitchen table. By this point Jinyoung had backed Jaebum into the corner of the kitchen. He was livid. There was no escape. 

Jinyoung punched him in the arm. Hard. Jaebum couldn’t feel his fingers. 

“Eight months!” Jinyoung shouted, pulling back to swing at him again. 

“Eight _months_. I watched you try and get over this boy for eight months! He’s been back for like, three days and your already making out with him at random parties?”

“I know, I know. I’m sorry.” Jaebum said. Honestly, Jinyoung was right. He had fucked up. He should have stopped Youngjae but a combination of the alcohol and everything that Youngjae was had clouded his judgement and he had made a mistake. Not only that, but Jinyoung was the one who had been right by his side through everything. Jinyoung had watched him fall head over heels for Youngjae. He was the one who encouraged Jaebum to ask Youngjae out. He was the one who stood by for moral support while Jaebum, blushing and stuttering, had confessed his feelings. 

Subsequently, it was Jinyoung that had sat with him when Youngjae left. When Jaebum couldn’t understand what had gone wrong, Jinyoung was there to help him out of his slump. He truly was the best friend someone could ask for.

“Maybe you should stop trying to forget about Youngjae and actually try and talk to him. To understand what went wrong and why he left?” Mark said softly from his chair." 

“You need closure. If your abysmal decisions prove anything, its that you haven’t moved on even if you keep telling yourself you have. When are you supposed to meet with him again?” Jinyoung asked, all the anger, all the fight had left him as soon as he had seen the defeat on Jaebum’s face. He couldn’t bear to stay mad at someone who was already beating themselves up. He had seen Jaebum suffering through those long months and he just wanted his best friend to be okay again.

“We are supposed to meet his evening to work on the song.”

“Talk to him tonight. You just need to get this over with. Like a band-aid.” 

“Okay. I’ll talk to him tonight.” Jaebum said with resolve. He pulled out his phone to send Youngjae a text. 

 

**From:JB**

Hey

 

 **From: Youngjae**

Hey

 

**From: JB**

Can we talk?

 

**From: Youngjae**

I guess we probably should. Where do you wanna meet?

 

**From: JB**

The cafe?

 

**From: Youngjae**

sounds good. see you soon

 

**From: JB**

k

 

And with that, his fate was sealed. As Jaebum stared down at the phone in his hands, he couldn’t help the fluttering anxiety that was settling in his stomach. Finally he was going to find out what had happened, what had gone wrong. The thought wasn’t as comforting as it should have been and the idea of closure, of moving on seemed odd and uncomfortable. 

_I need closure._

He thought to himself. He bid Jinyoung and Mark goodbye and they both wished him luck. He grabbed his coat from the closet and headed out the door toward the cafe, where he finally get the answers that he had always wanted. 

Strangely now, he wasn’t so sure.


	5. Chapter 5

When Jaebum arrived at the coffee shop Youngjae was already inside waiting for him. He was sitting at a corner table near the back of the shop with his delicate hands wrapped around a to go cup, little curls of steam drifting up from the liquid inside. 

“Hey.” Jaebum said as he pulled out the chair across from Youngjae and sat down. 

“Hey.” Youngjae responded with a small smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. He looked nervous, understandably so, and distracted. It was like he was trying to figure out where they go from here.

“So, should we talk about last night?” Youngjae asked.

“Actually, I’d rather talk about our break up.”

“Oh, yeah. I guess that makes sense.” Youngjae responded with a sheepish smile. 

“Last night you implied that you still loved me but I was under the impression we broke up because you didn’t.”

When Youngjae breathed out, it was shaky. He could lift his head to look Jaebum in the eyes. He just stared down at the table top, like if he met Jaebum’s eyes he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from crying. 

“I just want to know what I did wrong.” Jaebum said.

At that Youngjae’s head snapped up, eyebrows drawn together, guilt written all over his face. 

“No. I never meant for you to think like that. I hate to sound like some cliche romance film but it wasn’t you, it was me.”

Youngjae’s eyes started to fill with tears. He closed his eyes and tried to get a hold of his emotions. Everything he had been feeling and he had ignored since the break up was building and pushing its way to the surface. Jaebum just waited as patiently as he could for Youngjae to continue his explanation. 

“I intentionally pushed you away, hoping that you would get fed up and break up with me but you didn’t. You were so patient and kind and understanding. You never got angry, you were only ever disappointed and eventually I just couldn’t...” 

Youngjae choked back a quiet sob and covered his face with his hand. Jaebum could see that tears were leaking out from underneath his palms and trickling down his chin. He wanted nothing but to hold Youngjae and tell him every thing would be alright but honestly he was kind of in shock. Why had Youngjae wanted Jaebum to break up with him if the both still loved each other? What possible reason was there to break up when you're still in love?

The other patrons in the coffee shop were glancing over at them as Youngjae cried into his hands and Jaebum sat by doing nothing. They needed to go somewhere else.

Jaebum stood and grabbed Youngjae by the wrist, pulling lightly so he would stand up. He grabbed Youngjae’s drink and tugged him gently out the door. 

“Where are we going?” Youngjae asked him once they were outside, tears still streaking down his cheeks. Jaebum just continued to pull him down the street. 

“Somewhere a little less public.” He answered.

 

 

During the walk Jaebum never let go of Youngjae’s wrist and Youngjae managed to calm his tears. It was cold outside. The sun was shining brightly and there was a gentle breeze that cut deep and chilled to the bone. There were even some flowers that had made the mistake to bloom a little too early and would, no doubt, be dead by the next night, frosted over by the relentless chill of the late winter air. 

Eventually they reached the park that Jaebum had been taking them to. He figured it would be pretty empty because even though the sun was shining, it was positively frigid. Jaebum leaned back again the brick half wall that cut through the park and Youngjae sat on top of a picnic bench across from him.

“Okay, so why did you want me to break up with you? I loved you and you loved me so, why?”

“Everyone loves you.” Youngjae said, as if that was enough of an explanation. Jaebum looked at him quizzically. This conversation was creating a lot more questions than it was giving answers. Youngjae seemed to understand that he wasn’t being very clear so he continued on. 

“I mean you’re the golden boy. And I’m just me.” He said with a shrug. 

“I guess maybe its something you’ll never really understand. That feeling of having people you don’t even know, or worse, people you look up to tell you that you're not good enough. And I’m not trying to say that your hardships aren’t important or worthwhile. I’m just saying that you probably never had someone tell you that you were dragging me down.” Youngjae said, rather matter of factly.

“Did people say that to you?”

“Everyday.” He said, a wry smile tugging at his lips. “Not always to my face but there were whispers. And it was fine the first time and the second time. Hell, it was fine the fiftieth time because you loved me and I loved you and that was all I needed, but eventually it started to take a toll. I couldn’t help but start to think that maybe they were right. Maybe I was holding you back. After if it's a belief that's held by almost the whole campus it would be naive of me not to at least consider that.”

Jaebum could feel tears start to well up in his eyes. He hadn’t known. He hadn’t known that Youngjae had been suffering so much on his own. Youngjae just continued to plow forward, words and feelings just flowing out of him, like the dam behind which he had been keeping everything had been broken and now everything was just flowing freely. 

“So I tried to push you away. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you so I figured that if I made you mad enough, you would give up, but you never did. You never gave up on me and the longer I waited the more in love with you I fell and the harder it was to see you hurting because of me. So I told you that we should’t see each other anymore. And then instead of staying to explain everything I ran away, like a coward.” Youngjae was crying again, his breath coming in quick hiccups. 

Jaebum could feel the tears spilling down his cheeks and it was getting harder and harder to breath properly. 

“Why didn’t you just tell me? Why did you have to suffer alone?” Jaebum asked.

“Because I was _afraid._ ” Youngjae said, almost as if he was pleading Jaebum to understand. “I was afraid that I was right, that you would convince me to stay and that I’d always feel like this. I was afraid that I would hold you down for the rest of your life and you’d grow to resent me. I was afraid that I’d fall too far for you and then you’d realize that I was right. That you were better off without me and I’d be left with all this guilt because I selfishly held on when I should have let you go.”

The worst part of everything Youngjae was saying was that Jaebum understood. Everything Youngjae said was understandable. He had only done what he had though was best for Jaebum and even if he was wrong, Jaebum couldn’t find it in him to be angry. All he felt was regret and sadness and disappointment in himself because, as illogical as it was to think this way, he felt like he should have been able to see what was happening. He just wished he could have seen that Youngjae was having a hard time. So, Jaebum understood. That didn’t make it hurt any less. 

“Do you have any other questions?” Youngjae asked, his face was stained with old tears, even as new ones tracked their way down his cheeks. 

“No, I think that pretty much covers everything.” Jaebum said quietly, wiping his own tears and wanting nothing more than to just hold Youngjae in his arms again. He didn’t want to be the cause of anymore tears. He wanted to be the one to wipe them away but he was still processing everything and he didn’t know if that was something that Youngjae wanted. You can love something and still not want it back. 

“About the song. Since the melody is mostly done I’ll finish the lyrics for my part and I can send you a recording to practise with. Then we only have to see each other for the concert and we can be done.” Youngjae said.

“Okay.” Jaebum quietly replied. Youngjae picked up his now cold drink from the picnic bench and turned to walk away. 

“I’ll see you at the concert, Jaebum.” 

“See you at the concert.”

Youngjae began to walk away tossing his drink in the garbage as he passed by.

“Wait, Youngjae.” Jaebum called out before Youngjae got too far away. Youngjae stopped and turned around, head cocked to the side quizzically. 

“Why did you come back?” Jaebum asked. Youngjae smiled, still a little sad, still not quite reaching his eyes. 

“I realized that it wasn’t fair to you to leave everything so open ended. And that maybe it was time I stopped running.” Youngjae called back. They watched each other carefully for a minute before Youngjae nodded with finality and turned around again to continue back home. 

And just like that, Jaebum watched as Youngjae walked away for the third time. 

Jaebum had a lot to think about.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg im so sorry its taken me so long to update :(((((( work has been really crazy so i haven't had much time to write :/ Im gonna try to have this whole thing finished by the end of july tho. 
> 
> also, side note: the song that jb and youngjae write is called You Matter To Me by Sara Bareilles https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GU1gKmZYFVc here is the link if you want to listen to it :)

Jaebum had returned to his apartment after his talk with Youngjae and had immediately locked himself in his room, not saying a word to Jinyoung and Mark who were sitting in the kitchen waiting for him to come back. Of course both of the boys knew that Jaebum would need space no matter how desperately they wanted to know what happened. 

They managed to distract themselves for roughly two hours before a loud crash from Jaebum’s room gave them an excuse to investigate. 

Jinyoung opened Jaebum’s door just a crack and peaked his head inside and was met with a rather surprising sight. 

Every single article of clothing Jaebum owned was folded and strewn across his room. All of his garbage and loose paper was packed into a garbage bag and recycle bin respectively and all his dirty dishes were clustered together, ready to be taken out to the kitchen and washed. 

The source of the crash appeared to be one of the shelves in Jaebum’s closet that had collapsed on one side. Jaebum stood beside the mess, screwdriver in hand, hair wild like he had been running his hands through it and a defeated expression on his face. 

He looked up and met Jinyoung’s eyes. “One of the screws was loose.” He said with a pout. “I tried to fix it but i feel like this has turned into a rather poignant metaphor for my entire life.”

Jinyoung grimaced at Jaebum’s words. “I guess the talk didn’t go to well? Did Youngjae really say it was all your fault?” He was honestly a little shocked. Even if the break up had been Jaebum’s fault, Youngjae did’t seem like the type of person who would just come right out and say it. He would probably sugar coat it into a pill that was a little more manageable to take. 

“Well not exactly…” Jaebum said sitting down on the corner of his bed and gesturing for Jinyoung to join him. Jinyoung sat down beside him, knowing that at this point Mark had either left the two friends alone or he was listening from the hallway while Jaebum filled him in on what had happened in the park.

“…So basically he still loves me but he thought he wasn’t good enough and he ran away, but he came back because he realized what he was doing wasn’t fair to me and he said it was time he stopped running.” Jaebum finished the story, a little out of breath. “Then he said that once the project was over we could be “done” and I don’t really know if he means like done being romantic or like done seeing each other ever? And I don’t really know how I would feel either way?” A little edge of hysteria was creeping in around the edges of Jaebum’s voice. 

Jinyoung gently placed his hand on Jaebum’s arm in an effort to calm him. “It’s okay. We’ll work through this. Everything is gonna be alright.” Jinyoung patiently waited until Jaebum’s breathing had calmed. “Let’s work through this as logically as we can. I know!” Jinyoung said with probably too much enthusiasm. “ Lets make a list. We can write down the reasons you want Youngjae to stay and the reasons that it would be better if he didn’t and then we can compare and make a decision from there.” Jinyoung began gathering blank pages of paper and scrounging around for a writing utensil of some sort.

Jaebum was in the middle of nodding his consent when his bedroom door burst open and Mark walked in, taking the paper and recently acquired paper from Jinyoungbefore flopping down onto the bed beside Jaebum. 

“I know you two are doing your weird best friend thing in here but I seriously can’t help but think you’re making this so much more complicated than it needs to be.” Mark said. 

“Were you listening from the hallway?” Jaebum asked, incredulous look on his face.

“Yeah, but lets be real, Jinyoung would have told me later tonight anyway so honestly I’m just saving everyone time here.” Mark said with a mischievous smile on his lips. 

“Anyway, my point is that you two are treating feelings like me kind of logic puzzle or something but honestly there is only really one question that you need to ask yourself. Youngjae still cares about you, right? And we’ve already established that you are very much still into Youngjae. So the only question left to ask is whether or not the risk is worth the reward?”

The three of them sat in silence, Jaebum and Jinyoung a little stunned but the accuracy of what Mark had said. 

“I guess, knowing what you know now, is the reward of being with Youngjae worth the risk that you’ll lose him again?”

Jaebum furrowed his brows, deep i thought. His first instinct was to say that, yes, being with Youngjae was absolutely worth the possibility of going through all this heartache again. But the more he thought about it the less sure he was. Not about his feelings, but about Youngjae. just because Jaebum was willing to face the sacrifice didn’t mean that Youngjae was. It is entirely possible to love someone and not want them back. 

Jinyoung and Mark stood to leave the room. “We’ll leave you to think about it. I’m not really sure there is much more I could say to help.” Jinyoung said.

“Except that if you love him, go get him. This might be your last chance.” Mark said with a little smile as he closed the door behind himself leaving Jaebum alone with his thoughts. 

 

Just as Jaebum was about to really start thinking about what he was going to do, his laptop pinged with an email notification. It was from Youngjae. Attached to the email was a PDF and an audio file. Jaebum opened both and the familiar strains of the melody they had written for their project played through his laptop speakers. Youngjae was playing the accompaniment with his left hand and Jaebum’s part with his right hand. The PDF contained all the musical notation and the lyrics. Youngjae was a fast worker. Youngjae stated in the body of the email that he was practically finished and he just needed to polish everything a little. Jaebum thought that it sounded beautiful just the way it was. 

He followed along with the the lyrics for the first half which would be his part. Everything was familiar until the end of the first chorus, everything after that was stuff Youngjae had written on his own.

As Youngjae began to play the beginning of the second verse, he switched, only playing the accompaniment on the piano with both hands and singing his own part.

Younjae’s voice was so beautiful. Soft and gentle but packed with power he could utilize with easy if the song called for it. He was so extremely emotive that even though there was no video accompanying the song Jaebum could imagine every minuscule movement that Youngjae was probably making when he played the song. Also, maybe a little naively, Jaebum hadn’t noticed how much of the lyrics actually applied to there situation but with the addition of the second verse he almost felt a little stupid for not realizing how much of his feelings toward Youngjae were packed into the lyrics he had written. Then He couldn’t help but wonder if Youngjae’s lyrics were a reflection of how he felt or if he was only focused on the scenario they were supposed to be writing a song for. 

He couldn’t wonder for long though because come the third time through the chorus Youngjae was singing his part, playing Jaebum’s harmonies with his right hand and the accompaniment with his left hand. 

The harmonies wove in and out of the melody following a different rhythmic and musical pattern that fit so well together it honestly left Jaebum kind of stunned. Youngjae’s had been able to blend the two parts together seamlessly and as soon as the song ended Jaebum started the recording over from the beginning putting it on repeat leaning back in his desk chair and closing his eyes, just letting the music and Youngjae’s voice wash over him. 

He spent the entire night listening to the recording over and over again, ingraining the melody and harmonies of their song into his brain. 

Their song.

It made Jaebum’s so happy to once again have something that he can call theirs once more. And, in all honesty, he knows what he wants now and he knows what needs to happen next but it terrifies him. What if this really is his last chance and he loses Youngjae forever? He can only hope that Youngjae also thinks that the risk is worth the reward.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay everyone! this is the end! fear not though I have plans to write an epilogue in the next couple weeks so I hope you'll look forward to that! :) Thank you all so much for sticking with me till the end. I really appreciate you reading and all of your kind words. I say this a lot but that is literally what keeps me wanting to finish my stories. ily all and i really hope you are satisfied with the ending <3 I hope to see you at my next 2jae fic!

The next few weeks flew by for Jaebum. He felt like every second of free time was spent rehearsing for this upcoming performance with Youngjae. Where at first he had wanted to do well despite Youngjae being his partner, now he wanted to do well because he would be performing with Youngjae. Through his practicing Jaebum had almost begun to think of this duet as a retaliation to all the people who told Youngjae he wasn’t good enough for him. And maybe, just maybe, if he could convince everyone else that Youngjae was equally talented and actually made him a better performer he could convince Youngjae that their relationship was worth another try. 

It was also worth mentioning that Youngjae stopped showing up for the one class they had together so, come the night of the performance, it had literally been weeks since he had seen Youngjae’s face. Hearing his voice on the practice recording had only made him wish time would pass faster so they could be face to face again. 

The performances were set to take place in the evening at a little cafe on campus. It was expected that everyone would dress as though they were really performing on stage not just for their class at a coffee shop and the whole event was open to the public. So when Jaebum arrived about a half an hour before the start of the show, the venue was already packed with people, some he recognized and some he didn’t. All of them chattering quietly amongst themselves as they waited for the show to start. 

Jaebum went to join the rest of his classmates at the side of the stage. He and Youngjae were performing about half way through the show so he was able to wander amongst the people greeting them and wishing them luck, always keeping his eyes out for Youngjae. 

Finally once he had almost made his way through the whole group of students did he finally spy him. And honestly? Damn, did he look good. 

Apparently, at some point between their last meeting and now, Youngjae had gotten a hair cut. He had shaved one side of his head and the rest of his hair was styled up and out of his face leaving his earrings clearly visible. 

He was wearing a white button down with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and a pair of crimson suit pants that looked like they were tailored just for him. He looked absolutely stunning and Jaebum hadn’t realized that he had stopped moving until someone ran into him from behind. 

He apologized before walking to Youngjae’s side. 

“Long time no see.” Jaebum said. Youngjae looked up abruptly, seemingly startled from his thoughts. 

“Its only been a couple week, Jaebum” Youngjae answers with a bit of a smile.

“But every moment I’m not with you seems like an eternity.” He shot back with the greasiest smile he could manage. He was trying to lighten the air between the two of them before they had to go and perform infant of a large crowd. But he also honestly meant it. The past few weeks seemed to take longer to pass by than the eight months he had been without Youngjae before. Jaebum supposed that it was probably because this time he was anticipating seeing Youngjae again and before that he had thought Youngjae was out of his life for good. 

“Wow, way to be super greasy.” Youngjae said with a grimace on his lips but a faint pink blush had settled high on his cheeks. God, he was so damn cute. 

Before they knew it, their professor was on stage introducing the first group that would be singing so no more word were exchanged between the two. 

In all honesty, everyone in the class had done a phenomenal job writing their songs. Some were obviously better than others but over all the quality of the music produced was just amazing. 

Mark and Jinyoung were the performance before them. Both in pastel suits, Mark in pink and Jinyoung in blue they sang their song. It was high energy and and Jaebum’s friends totally owned the raised platform that was their stage. They looked like proper rockstars, if rockstars performed practically level with the audience at a tiny cafe on a university campus that is. 

And before Jaebum knows it, He and Youngaje are being called to the stage. Youngjae sits in front of the piano and Jaebum gets a stool placed so that overtime he looks up, he looks right at Youngjae. 

And then Youngjae begins to play and those weeks of practice kick in and he’s singing his lyrics to Youngjae’s beautiful accompaniment. And he barely needs to think about whats spilling from his vocal cords because Youngjae is right there and they are singing together and its not perfect but they sound pretty damn good. 

And then Yougnaje is smiling at him and the song is coming to a close and then they're bowing and Youngjae is holding his hand and the crowd is clapping and cheering for them and he swears there is barely a dry eye in the room. 

And then they're climbing down of the stage and Mark and Jinyoung are congratulating them and Youngjae still hasn't let go of his hand. And then the next group is getting up on the stage and everyones attention shifts away from Jaebum and Youngjae. Then Jinyoung gives Jaebum an encouraging smile and Mark whispers good luck in his ear before gently pushing them towards the exit of the coffee shop. And as Jaebum takes a hint and gently tugs Youngjae towards the door Youngjae still makes no move to let go of his hand, still grinning ear to ear, giddy on a post performance high. 

 

Once they are out side Jaebum tugs Youngjae around the side of the building. Its dark out know but the streetlights illuminate he two of them well enough, the yellow glow sparkling in Youngjae’s eyes. Jaebum leans against the side of the building with Youngjae in front of him, fingers still intertwined, eyes flittering of each other faces, as if they're trying to memorize every feature. Like this might be the last time they ever see each other like this, the adrenaline of performing still coursing through their blood allowing them to be bolder than they ever could have imagined. 

“Where do we go from here?” Jaebum asked when the silence gets to be too much

“I honestly don’t know. Forward I guess but what that actually means for us? I don’t have a clue.” Youngjae answers with a sigh. 

“I love you. And I know that we can’t start over or anything cause what happened happened but I guess maybe I was hoping you’d be willing to try again?”

Youngjae was looking down at the ground brows furrowed in thought, like he was weighing his options and thinking about all the possible results.

“What if I ruin everything again?” His answer was barely more than a whisper. If Jaebum hadn’t been waiting so intently for the answer then he probably would have missed it. 

“I don’t think you will. And even if you do, it doesn’t matter to me. For me, the reward is worth the risk. Loving you is worth the risk.”

Youngjae was crying now, little hitches in his breathing shook his body and Jaebum just pulled him into his chest and wrapped his arms around Youngjae’s slender frame. He felt the side of his neck dampening with tears as Youngjae tried to calm is breathing. 

“I love you so much.” Youngjae whispered against Jaebum’s neck and Jaebum just pulled him in closer savouring his warmth in the cold winter night. 

“I wanted so badly to be perfect. For you to love someone who was perfect.” Youngjae said unconsciously snuggling a little closer into Jaebum’s chest and having mostly stopped his tears. He had forgotten how safe Jaebum’s arms made him feel. It almost felt like home. 

“I don’t want you to be perfect. You’re already perfect for me.” Jaebum responded, not even caring about how greasy he was being.

Youngjae pulled back from Jaebum’s embrace for just long enough to slap his chest before settling back in.

“That was disgusting. I can not believe you would make me listen to that with my own two ears.” Yougjae said, voice muffled from where he was pressing it into Jaebum’s collar bones.  
“Come on, you love it.” Jaebum said stroking Youngjae’s hair, running his fingers over the freshly buzzed part. It tickled his finger tips and Youngjae tilted his head into Jaebum’s hand, just like a cat.

“I don’t love it but,” Youngjae lifted his head and pressed a sweet kiss to Jaebum’s cheek, “I do love you.”

Jaebum huffed out a laugh. “Like that was any better than mine.” He said trying to sound indignant. It was a little easier said than done with Youngaje’s lips so close to his own. 

“What are you doing tomorrow?” Jaebum whispered. There was no nee to talk any louder when their faces were so close together.

“Not a damn thing.” Youngjae responded, a smile curling onto his lips.

“Let’s go on a date. There are a lot of places that have opened up since you left. There’s a new karaoke place that I think you would like and then maybe we could go see a movie?”

“Alternatively, we can send Jinyoung over to Mark’s place and then we can just hang around in our pyjamas. You’ll play some first person shooter and I’ll try to finish my book but eventually I won’t be able to concentrate so I’ll put my book away and just watch you play. And we can snuggle on the sofa until it gets dark. Eventually we’ll try to make dinner but we’ll end up having to order pizza anyways because we got distracted.” Youngjae says with a sweet smile on his lips, looking up at Jaebum with so much love that Jaebum feels his eyes start to water and he knows that Youngjae probably sees the same look when he’s looking at Jaebum. 

“How about both?” Jaebum says.

“Both sounds perfect.” Youngjae answers. 

And maybe its not quite perfect, but they get pretty damn close.


	8. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just something sweet to round out the ending :) i hope you enjoy!

Three months later, Jaebum wakes up to the early morning sunlight filtering through the open window and onto the bed, illuminating crumpled sheets with a soft golden glow. Its much warmer sharing a bed with someone else and so the heat gets a little too much. Jaebum detangles himself from the sheets and the arms wrapped around his chest, knowing full well that nothing could possibly disturb his bedmate this early in the morning. 

Despite the heat of the spring sunlight, the floor is blessedly cold on Jaebum’s bare feet. He goes to the kitchen and begins brewing a pot of coffee. He looks out the window into the street. Last nights rain glitters like tiny crystals on the grass. Even the road looks like its made of glass. Everything smells damp and musty, wet dust and fresh grass. Its as though everything has been cleaned and the whole world is ready for a new day.

The beep from the coffee machine shatters the illusion and Jaebum is broken out of his musings. He pours his coffee and carries it back to the bedroom.

Evidently, the heat was a little too much for Youngjae as well. He was starfished out on the bed face smushed into his pillow, one leg covered by the sheets, the other hanging out over the edge. His sleep shorts were shoved halfway up his thighs and the big loose t shirt he wore had ridden up leaving the small of his back exposed to the gentle breeze drifting in through the open window. 

Jaebum smiled to himself before sitting down of the edge of the bed. He sits there, sipping his coffee, enjoying the quiet of early morning, only little song birds and the occasional car disturbing the silence. 

After their performance together, Jaebum and Youngjae had began to date again. They did everything from karaoke to visiting a carnival. Coffee dates and dinners. One time they even went to a petting zoo. And if they had to leave a little early because Youngjae got a little over excited about the piglets and spilt his drink down the front of his shirt it could be their little secret. And if Jaebum found it absolutely adorable, well, that could be a secret too. 

Their relationship wasn’t perfect. They still had trouble talking about things that bothered them, which led to miscommunications and quiet, passive aggressive fights. Neither of them were ones to yell when they were angry. In fact, Youngjae was probably the worse culprit of the two. He would get quiet and withdraw, pulling back into his shell whenever something upset him. But they were working on it and they were both getting better. They were learning how to talk to one another and to work through the difficult times. 

Jaebum felt a gentle tug on his hand. Youngjae’s eyes were open now, squinting against the bright sun. He made soft sleepy noises as he turned over onto his back, shoving the covers all the way off. 

“Good morning, sunshine.” Jaebum said with a gentle smile. Youngjae furrowed his brows pouting and making a noise of disapproval as he tugged a Jaebum’s hand again. He put his coffee on the night stand and let Youngjae pull him down into bed, flopping right on top of him. Youngjae groaned at the sudden weight on his chest. He smacked Jaebums shoulder and shoved him over to the other side of the bed. Youngjae pouted at Jaebum’s shit eating grin and smacked him again. Jaebum grabbed his wrist and pulled him into his chest, arm tucked underneath, pulling him closer. 

The two of them snuggled together, much too warm in the spring sunlight but unwilling to move apart. Jaebum’s coffee sat on the night stand slowly turing cold but, unsurprisingly, neither of them cared. 

Yeah, not quite perfect, but pretty damn close.

**Author's Note:**

> come scream with me on tumblr! thegarbagecan.tumblr.com


End file.
